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Mountains of Cocaine and The Quest to Rebuild Chipotle (NASDAQ: CMG)

Written By Jeff Siegel

Posted July 6, 2016

So Mark Crumpacker, the Chief Marketing & Development Officer for Chipotle (NYSE: CMG) has been busted on cocaine possession. Rachel Aldrich at The Street reported on this story, writing …

Crumpacker was arraigned at Manhattan Supreme Court and released for $4,500 cash bail yesterday for his alleged involvement in a drug ring.

Involvement in a drug ring?

That makes it sounds like he was running shipments from Bogotá to the storeroom at a Manhattan Chipotle restaurant. The dude was caught buying a ton of coke. That’s pretty much the extent of it, and something that’s quite common on Wall Street.

Yes, it’s true that with the $4.3 million Crumpacker raked in last year, he can afford Scarface-sized mountains of blow. But is that enough to cause the stock to fall?

Fragile Frijoles

Given the task of repairing Chipotle’s image, Crumpacker had his work cut out for him. Truth is, I can’t say I blame the guy for plowing through a few eight balls to get the company back on track. I’m sure he had to do plenty of all-nighters.

That being said, it could’ve also affected his judgment. After all, the company’s new promotional video is a pretty sad attempt at repairing its reputation. Check it out …

Look, Chipotle’s been taking it on the chin for awhile now, but I don’t understand how such a video is going to put more asses in the seats. The only people watching this video are loyal Chipotle customers, anyway. The folks that weren’t scared off by an over-hyped, fear-mongering campaign against the company, likely started by rivals or those who don’t like Chipotle attempting to use non-GMO ingredients. You don’t want to piss off the Monsanto Mafia, they’ll fuck you up.

Now I’m not saying I’m going to run out and buy shares of Chipotle today. While it is one of only two fast food restaurants I’ll visit on occasion, I don’t like the stock. It’s still incredibly fragile right now, and I’m not convinced management has a solid game plan in place.

If it were up to me, I’d suggest hiring a bunch of really smart Millennials that are tired of living in the parents’ basements. They’ll work for a lot less than $4.3 million, and from what I can tell, they don’t really seem to be into coke too much. Their drugs of choice tend to be prescription drugs that can be quite dangerous in the wrong hands, but won’t typically get you arrested. And besides, coke is so 80s.