I haven’t really been following this whole Hillary Clinton email-gate scandal.
Or is it Hillary e-mail-ghazi scandal?
It’s hard to keep up.
Regardless, according to WND (formerly WorldNetDaily) …
An email reportedly sent to Hillary Clinton by former Clinton White House staffer Sidney Blumenthal quotes an intelligence source providing information that “wealthy Sunni Islamists in Saudi Arabia” funded the Sept. 11, 2012, attack on the U.S. special mission in Benghazi.
The leaked emails were published by Russia Today, which says it was forwarded the emails from Blumenthal’s AOL account by the hacker using the alias “Guccifer.”
While it’s certainly not hard to trust someone who was still using an AOL account in 2012, I suspect this is unlikely. Besides, everyone knows that the Benghazi attack was funded by the Kardashian sisters. With a combined net worth of more than $105 million, it wasn’t hard to pull off.
Of course, Khloe, the hot one, told Obama that “the footage never made it onto their reality show, so really it was a waste of money.”
That being said, it’s clear there’s some stuff Mrs. Clinton doesn’t want anyone to see in those emails. So here are a few speculations on what’s hidden in those emails …
1.) The rough draft of a new tell-all book called, “The Road to the White House is Paved with Cattle Futures and Failed Vacation Property Developments.”
2.) Her personal Spotify library, which includes the Dixie Chicks’ acoustic version of “Baby Got Back.”
3.) A poem she wrote for her creative writing class at Yale called, “Bitch Better Have My Money.” This poem was later used, without permission, by director Keenen Ivory Wayans in the movie, “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka.”
4.) A list of things to do before announcing her candidacy. #1 – Get republicans to focus all of their energy on a manufactured email scandal so no one will notice all the other shady shit I’m doing.
5.) This picture of Mrs. Clinton trying not laugh every time Obama says the word, “duty.”
7.) A failed attempt at a photoshopped image of Mrs. Clinton ducking gunfire in Bosnia.
8.) More porn
9.) A pirated version of “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” that she sent to President Obama after he was re-elected.
10.) An application for a debt consolidation plan she filed after she and Bill left the White House. You know, because apparently, not only were they dead broke, but they were in debt.
If you can think of any others, feel free to chime in!