Investing in the Greek Bailout

Written By Brian Hicks

Posted March 24, 2015

gboI remember seeing the Titanic in theaters and wondering why in the name of all that is holy did I pay to watch this crap.

Before it was halfway over, a group of senior citizens sitting in front of me shouted what most other people were already thinking, “Just get it over with and sink already!”

Reminds me a lot of Greece.

Everyone’s aware that not long ago, Greece landed a whopping 240 billion euros as part of it’s seemingly perpetual bailout.

That breaks down to roughly 21,818 euros per man woman and child. Just 10% of which, however, went into public spending, where it was supposed to go.

So it’s no surprise to hear that they – yet again – announced if they don’t get several billion more, the country will run out of money by April 20th.

It’s also no surprise that they really have no plans to actually carry themselves in the future after they get this next cash-injection.

Which makes sense, considering the country’s number one moneymaking exports are tobacco, asparagus, wheat and olive oil… all of which but asparagus are currently being condemned by the rest of the world as bad for you.

If only it were possible to grow twinkies and funnel cakes Greece would be the most dangerous-to-your-health country on earth… which is something I hear its genius Minister of Finance Yanis Varoufakis has already inquired about.


Right now, the once great nation, the land of Socrates, Alexander the Great, Homer, and Aristotle is in so much financial trouble that it’s officially lost all shame. And the leaders are (no pun intended) going for broke.

In fact, the prime minister recently had the balls to say to the German Chancellor’s face on his first trip there since getting elected that the nation DESERVES money because “Greece hasn’t committed war crimes on the scale of the Holocaust during WWII”.

… which kind of makes playing the race card look like a game of go-fish with my eight year old niece.

It also makes me wonder what war crimes Greece did commit that were so atrocious that they had to stoop as low as the Holocaust.

All the same, while Merkel rightfully is denying war reparations to a country that is perpetually on the verge of default, Germany is still going to be stuck shelling out billions like Helicopter Ben.

That is, so long as Greece can make a few in-house reforms. Reforms that you or I might find acceptable. Things like “making labor more flexible” and “rooting out corruption”.

You know, something you should be able to live with when you’re asking for billions.

Greece, on the other hand, is acting like Germany is strong-arming them. And they’re making everyone – for some reason – shake in their boots.

But we know how this game’s played. Like a predictable movie, the markets will shake leading up to the decision. Pundits will give their doomsday speeches and “what if” scenarios. Peter Schiff will sell another book. And at the end of the day, Greece will get it’s billions in funny money.

Those who buy shares of National Bank of Greece (NYSE: NBG) right before Greece gets its next welfare check will ride a quick 10% to 15% pop. Then, if they’re smart, will take the euros and run!

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